| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|10:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  optimistic | ] |
They say change is good. And most of the time I agree. Sometimes change allows you to draw on a clean sheet of paper. It does not even ask for you to have an eraser with. Just hands you that brand new sheet to doodle on yet again. But what if what you have at the moment is nearly perfect. Those lines you've drawn, the colors you've shaded those figures with, everything blends together. It's almost perfect. And then out of nowhere they hand you a clean sheet. It's hard to look at it the same way you'd look at it when you've made mistakes before. It's hard to greet it with enthusiasm and anticipation when in fact the initial, and probably lingering, reaction is disappointment, regret, and disgust.
Lately's been filled with changes everywhere. And it gets confusing sometimes, whether to welcome this and embrace the change or resist for a time until you get used to it that it begins to not matter or until such time that you're able to accept it.
But why do all good things come to an end? A perfect example would be Phoenix' 100-point-per-game streak which came to an end today. Worse, this came in with a loss to, tada, the New York Knicks. Oh well. I'm glad the Celtics won a good one against the Bobcats. They need to start showing consistency and be a solid team in the East if they want to have a second take on that O'brien.
I want to be optimistic about things now. I need to be. I have to be. And I really want to be. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|10:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
There's just a few things that have to end.
Sad, yes. But such is reality at times.
And sometimes, we bring it upon ourselves.
Or others do. And that's what's making all these all the more awful to bear and see through. |
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| M for vendetta |
[Nov. 25th, 2009|10:51 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
It's like watching Criminal Minds only there's no script, no post production set up, no on-screen director, and these are certainly not actors. How can something so savage, inhumane, gruesome happen? Killing 46 innocent people for the love of whatever there is to love in their greedy crazy minds just doesn't sit right. And please, don't use the words politics and religion to justify these criminal acts. Politics and religion in their purest sense are devoid of anything unjustifiable and criminal. |
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| Mrs. Mendoza |
[Nov. 23rd, 2009|10:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
Strange how I was just thinking about visiting her last weekend as I was reminded of her during the two-hour bus ride I shared with her sister who was my fourth year class adviser. And tonight I heard of the news that she has passed away. Strange how I was thinking of memories I had of her and none really stood out. Maybe because it was one of those subjects in high school that you don't really pay much attention to because it's non-academic. I remember though, quite vividly in fact, that during one of our many dance practices for a school event she called my attention, in front of all my batchmates, for being too playful while waiting for instructions under the scorching heat. I was furious! Not just because it was hot and they're making us wait for nothing, but because she had to do that in front of everyone! I was always that student who gets away with almost everything. But not with her, I guess. It wasn't that she was strict. She reprimanded when necessary, I guess.
This year has been filled with deaths - of those dear to me, those dear to friends, those whose lives have brushed upon mine in the past. It's just difficult to accept that such a morbid thing can and will happen to everyone. It leaves me hopeless. It's probably the only situation in life that I'm sure I wouldn't be able to do anything about. It's freaking me out sometimes. A lot, actually. Since my grandmother's death, it has become less and less vague to me that death is inevitable. But what saddens me more is not the natural physical death... but the little deaths that I seem to be encountering more and more each day - (almost) death of a friendship, (almost) death of a motivated career/work life, (almost) death of previously high-held hopes and dreams and aspirations. And they're all unfolding, slowly (which makes it even more painful), right before my eyes.
Everything feels surreal at this point. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2009|11:07 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
There's no amount of sadness / anxiety / negativity an out of town or out of the country trip cannot blow away and shred to pieces.. temporarily, though. Still, I'd take that over continuous mulling over work and other stress-incurring activities. We all deserve a break. And yes, I'm part of that "we" right there. Hahaha.
So we're off to Bacolod over the weekend to join in the Maskara festivities. It's a first for me and so I'm uber thrilled! Plus, my camera's been on hiatus for a loooong time now so this trip's definitely a win-win for both of us. Then a good two and a half weeks later I'll be on trip with my shoti - and I'm sooo looking forward to this! Should be really really fun!
I hope I have enough money to travel to places I want - which would prolly mean I'm away every month! Haha yeah, I could always dream on.. no harm in that. I wish work would be more exciting and a lot less stressful and annoying. I wish I could bring along my family to new places here and abroad. I wish I could live a long life - to travel to all seven continents, set foot on all seven wonders of the world, seven wonders of nature, and all other lists of seven or eight or nine or ten.
Ah life... |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2009|10:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
Everyday we make decisions, choices which we unconsciously make. So unconscious about it that we don't even have the slightest idea that along the way we're hurting people.
Everyday you make a choice. And you choose to be on that side which we both know will never be "normal" no matter how much you pray for it to be. And still you make a choice to be on that side. Tells me something's not right here. And I maybe wrong, but at least I'm thinking it over. Unlike you.
Everyday is a choice. And everyday you make the same choice. Same mistake. It will not be ok.
Here's to wishing everyone remains safe this weekend amidst super typhoon scares. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2009|10:28 pm] |
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Everything'
s
Going to b
e
Alright. Rockaby
e
Rockabye. |
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| I need Your grace.. |
[Aug. 16th, 2009|10:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
to remind me
to find my own.
- Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol I've never been this confused. But I refuse to feel hopeless. I just need that one sign, then I'll go all out.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2009|12:45 am] |
I need to update this space more religiously! Hahaha. There'll be a lot of things going on from this point on so this could be, in fact, a trigger for trigger-happy-typing!
I've been working myself out over something which I've continuously reminded myself that's so not worth it. Let me count the ways.. or let's not. Seriously, though, there are a lot of other noteworthy and time-worthy things out there which I should be giving more attention to than this. So you, yes you, from this point on I'm letting go! You are so not worth it. You've obviously made a choice and it's clear now what you value more. This will be the last time, I assure you, because I'm getting tired and it's getting me nowhere.
Glad I've gotten that out of the way.
August 1 brought deep sadness and melancholy to the entire nation and every Filipino. Let's hope Cory didn't die for a lost cause. And let's hope her family doesn't use this time for their own political and selfish intentions. Amazing how powerful she was that even in her death, she has united so many people from all walks of life. She has touched the lives of countless individuals and she definitely had a hand in shaping up this nation.
There's so many things to write about... I wish I could blab on forever. So little time. Must enjoy every moment! =) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2009|12:21 am] |
Some things are bothering me lately. Like dreading the minute I'll have to wake up early in the morning and get ready for work. It's been at the back of my mind the minute I landed at the Kingsford Smith airport and it's killing me. Must. Enjoy. Every. Second. Of. This. Trip!!!!!! I should not, and I promise myself, that I would not let any of these thoughts get in the way of my having a grand time here in the cold albeit wonderful land down under! Even if it costs me a friend.
Anyway, I'm in the process of compiling this short list of things I've been observing quite frequently while here in Australia. Quick background - this country is gigantic! It's like land and water and land and water all over! Ok, onto the real quick background - Australia's divided into six states and two territories (haven't quite figured that one out yet, but I'm relying, hopelessly, on my sisters' historical and geographical knowledge of Australia here), the two territories being Canberra and well, ok I forgot the other (note to self: google or wiki this one out for the next entry). So anyway, on my first day here we headed off to the Gold Coast which was under the state of Queensland. So you see, in one day, I was actually able to step foot on three Australian states. Here's how - my flight from Manila to Sydney was not actually from Manila to Sydney. It had an hour layover in Melbourne, which is in the state of Victoria. So that's Victoria (for Melby), New South Wales (for Sydney), and Queensland for Gold Coast! Cool, huh?
So back to my short list of, well, I don't know what to call it, observation? Corny. So let's just call it my Short List (sic).
- Winter is a very cold season. Hahaha.
- Aussies follow their traffic rules to the C. Or at least their traffic enforcers make sure that people follow the rules! On a 60kph zone, one can get away with a 65 close to a 70 speed. BUT that's a total NO NO on a school zone where the limit's at 40kph. Flat 40 kph. There are speed cameras not only along main roads or highways but it seems like on every corner (haha ok that's overstating it, but seriously, they're everywhere!).
- They love to put -Y on every word they say - eg. breakfast is brekky, sunglasses is sunny, Woolsworth (which is sort of a convenience store slash petrol station here) is wooly, so on and so forth. You get the drift, right?
- Most Aussies are very polite. As in people you don't know and just bump into along the streets greet you with a "G'day" or a "How are you?" and you're supposed to answer back "Not too bad, yourself?" or something to that effect. We were at the Blue Mountains yesterday and walking along the trail to different lookouts and we passed by, I'd say, 10 people or so. We were probably greeted by more than half of that. Imagine how it'll be when you're out jogging in the morning or at night in a park and everyone else who's jogging or simply walking in the park would greet you! It's cool though. Very warm people.
- There are a lot of Asians here. Most of those I've seen are of Chinese, Filipino, Indian, and Lebanese race.
Ok, I'll fill in this list as the day and week goes by. I'll have my first taste of their public transpo in a bit (by myself weeeee!!!) so I'll blab about that one too, later. |
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[Jul. 17th, 2009|07:03 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
I feel so used.
And I hope bad karma doesn't get back at you.
WHY IS IT RAINING?!?!?!?!?!?!
Must-get-excited!!! ! ! ! |
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| not the best of days |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|01:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
...hates being taken for granted =(
There's something not right here. And it seems I'm the only one who takes notice.
No crap please before I leave for a long vacation. I neeeeed to enjoy this trip! It's worth 20k plus plus for Pete's sake. |
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| Man in the Mirror of the Hour |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|09:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nostalgic | ] |
After watching this crazy memorial for Michael Jackson, it feels like it's hitting me for the first time... He's such a great performer it'll be hard not to notice his absence in the music and entertainment world. I'm sure at one point in most of our lives we've sang his tune and danced his beat, tried, but most probably failed, to do the moonwalk!
My favorite MJ song, actually two of my favorites are Man in the Mirror and Butterflies. It's been on shuffle in my iPod for the past week and I just can't get enough of it.
This memorial was crazy - crazy sad, crazy wonderful. I'm sure millions were tuned in on the tube and those who chose to watch it on the internet were probably as nostalgic as I was. That "We are the World" rendition was awesome!
It's like a passing of an era. An end of something really really great. Probably the same feeling we'll have when the other great Michael dies. Amazing how many lives have been touched by his music and his life. |
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| Magic 15 |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|09:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
And just like that, Christmas is right around the corner once again! Hahaha. It's July now and that only means two things: 1) We're halfway through 2009 and that's made even more obvious by campaign ads on tv and radio plus posters all over EDSA and every corner/street of politicians who claim to be the next saviors of this country when in fact they're nothing but A-holes. Yes, all of them. I don't think I could single out any who isn't. It's not that I've lost hope and faith completely... It's just none of them seem to be sincere enough to be singled out of the trapo bunch. Escudero can and will probably cross that line. I hope he does. He seems like a really nice guy. Among the presidentiables lined-up... ah... can we get a new list, please? Coz if by May twenty-ten we're stuck with the same people, it's time to seriously think about fleeing this country. And let's just all make a pact to come back when there's actually a glimpse of decency in our government and political system. Which reminds me, I should probably head to the nearest city hall to register for next year's elections. Hahahaha. I'm thinking of casting my vote next year so I can legitimately rant about our mayors, congressmen, senators, members of the cabinet, etc.
And 2) Bonus time is four loooong months away. Hahaha.
I should write this down as this will probably go down in all sports history books as the day Roger Federer proved that he is the best tennis player of all time. Roger winning over the very much-improved Andy Roddick in the 2009 Wimbledon finals in five sets, with the fifth stretched to 95 minutes (yes, just the fifth set, which was actually longer than the entire finals game between the Williams sisters for the women's championship) broke a lot of records with the most important being it's his 15th grand slam title putting him ahead of legendary Pete Sampras who had 14. Here's a photo from the ATP website which pays tribute to Roger, rightfully putting him up there with all the legends - Pete, Bjorn Borg, Rod Laver, Boris Becker, Andre Agassi, etc.Amazing, huh? Especially when you look at his journey, his entire career - from being a temperamental, naive, hungry-for-a-title teenager to the ambassador of the sport that he is now. Great stuff by a great man. |
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| Collide |
[Jun. 18th, 2009|08:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
There I was, minding my own business like I do every single night for the past week. I insisted on sitting in front so it's easier to get off the van once we reach the MRT station. I got my wish. So there we were treading McKinley Street, which by the way was going smoothly and rather fast than the usual, when we came to a halt. Because the stop light was on. Hahaha. And so when it turned green, KABOOOOOM! Well, actually not KABOOM more like a eeeeeeekkkkkkkkzzzzzz sound. Apparently, the driver wasn't looking coz we've just hit a sedan who was trying to cross over to our lane. Thank God it wasn't a KABOOOOM and just a screech. First thought that came to my mind: Shit, I haven't seen Pelham 123 and I so want to watch that movie! Hahaha. Second thought: I'm supposed to watch The Proposal next week with ex-teammates!!!!! I'm so babaw. |
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| on winning and losing |
[Jun. 9th, 2009|11:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
Between the Orlando Magic getting into the NBA Finals and Roger Federer winning the elusive Roland Garros and tying Sampras' 14 Grand Slam wins, I find out that it's time to let go and start over. I think I've just admitted to myself, finally, that I've lost the one person I thought I could be closest to. Oh well.
But as with anything else, I will move on and look forward to a lot of great things to come. Like Roger looking forward to Wimbledon by end of the month. Or the Orlando Magic looking for a W in this finals series against the Lakers. |
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| lost along the way |
[Jun. 6th, 2009|03:11 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
we had it easy oh but we got lost along, lost along the way.
- the rescues |
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| =( |
[Jun. 2nd, 2009|09:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
today i lose another relative. and perhaps, although i hope i'm wrong, a friend. |
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| Go Orlando! Go Denver! |
[May. 21st, 2009|09:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
Ok, they might have beaten my bet for this season (the Boston Celtics), but I'm definitely rooting for the Orlando Magic to win this season's Eastern Conference Finals! After today's game 1, everyone's on their feet, everyone's saying it's the first time the Cavs showed some signs of being human after all. I say, they just got lucky with their first and second round opponents!! So go on, Magic! Bring back those good ole Penny Hardaway-Shaquille O'neal winning and glorious moments! Aylllaveeet!
As for the West, I have nothing against the Lakers, but the Denver Nuggets team is one exciting club! I read this article in yahoosports I think that shares how different and crazy these players' backgrounds are -- from drugs, to fights with coaches, to primadonna attitudes -- and yet they're putting it together this year, playing at such a high energy level! Great stuff! I think, though, Billups played a really huge role in turning this team around. He's such a good leader, both on and off the court, it's probably contagious! Plus, Anthony's big transformation post-Beijing Olympics is a good side story, as well. He's really turned into the player everyone was talking about two or three years ago when he, Tayshaun, and Lebron got drafted.
So here's to two exciting and helluva NBA conference finals! =)
I'm off to Davao tomorrow night. Waaaaaaaaaaa. Cannot believe I'm going to have a vacation!!! Wooohoo! |
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| blue |
[May. 20th, 2009|11:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
Apologies and saying sorry isn't really my thing. I can get really irrational and stubborn. So when I say sorry, I mean it.
Work is getting really really really uhh what's the term?! It's draining the hell out of me. |
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